Question for you all

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:19 pm

Errr.....probably not all.
I would stand by them all though.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:21 pm

Honestly?

Some no doubt I would be proud of and others not at all.
We all make mistakes at times and its about learning from them.

You cannot change the past and if you have said wrong, you apologise, mean it and move on.

So what good would be done by dragging the negative ones up again?

To show that we are after all only human?

I am not proud of somethings I have said and freely admit to when my passions have run away from me, but have I truly meant any of them to people?

Not at all and have regretted things I have said.

I think it is far better to concentrate on the positive things people do say. As that has far more lasting and reaching effects.

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:26 pm

Thorin wrote:Honestly?

Some no doubt I would be proud of and others not at all.
We all make mistakes at times and its about learning from them.

You cannot change the past and if you have said wrong, you apologise, mean it and move on.

So what good would be done by dragging the negative ones up again?

To show that we are after all only human?

I am not proud of somethings I have said and freely admit to when my passions have run away from me, but have I truly meant any of them to people?

Not at all and have regretted things I have said.

I think it is far better to concentrate on the positive things people do say. As that has far more lasting and reaching effects.

Maybe its just me, but I always find insults make more of an impact than compliments do...I'm talking in real life not on the internet.

I think 10 compliments can be overshadowed by one negative comment....like I say though, that may be just the way I see things.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:29 pm

Syl wrote:
Thorin wrote:Honestly?

Some no doubt I would be proud of and others not at all.
We all make mistakes at times and its about learning from them.

You cannot change the past and if you have said wrong, you apologise, mean it and move on.

So what good would be done by dragging the negative ones up again?

To show that we are after all only human?

I am not proud of somethings I have said and freely admit to when my passions have run away from me, but have I truly meant any of them to people?

Not at all and have regretted things I have said.

I think it is far better to concentrate on the positive things people do say. As that has far more lasting and reaching effects.

Maybe its just me, but I always find insults make more of an impact than compliments do...I'm talking in real life not on the internet.

I think 10 compliments can be overshadowed by one negative comment....like I say though, that may be just the way I see things.

That is because people tend to concentrate on the negative and not the positive

Hence why we still have so much hate within the world.

Many people are incapable or forgiving and moving on.

They are after all only words and only words have meaning when people give meaning to them.

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:35 pm

Thorin wrote:
Syl wrote:

Maybe its just me, but I always find insults make more of an impact than compliments do...I'm talking in real life not on the internet.

I think 10 compliments can be overshadowed by one negative comment....like I say though, that may be just the way I see things.

That is because people tend to concentrate on the negative and not the positive

Hence why we still have so much hate within the world.

Many people are incapable or forgiving and moving on.

They are after all only words and only words have meaning when people give meaning to them.

Words are about the most powerful weapon a person has...they can create wars or peace, so I don't think they should be minimalized.

That vid you posted last week, we never know what someone else is going through in life (remember the one Thor?) that emphasised to me why we should always be as kind as we can to people....and I really believe that.
A harsh word or criticism when its not called for could do more damage than any compliment ever can.

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:38 pm

I think I'd stand by everything I've said - because I never say what I don't mean at the time, angry or not.
My dad told me long ago: Never write anything down that you don't mean because you can't take it back.
That's become more apparent in the internet age.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:41 pm

Syl wrote:
Thorin wrote:

That is because people tend to concentrate on the negative and not the positive

Hence why we still have so much hate within the world.

Many people are incapable or forgiving and moving on.

They are after all only words and only words have meaning when people give meaning to them.

Words are about the most powerful weapon a person has...they can create wars or peace, so I don't think they should be minimalized.

That vid you posted last week, we never know what someone else is going through in life (remember the one Thor?) that emphasised to me why we should always be as kind as we can to people....and I really believe that.
A harsh word or criticism when its not called for could do more damage than any compliment ever can.

They are the least powerful as again they only have meaning when that person takes meaning from them.

Its actions that speak far louder than words. So being kind is what is important by doing kind things.

So a visual story does not even need words to see and have people act for the better or sadly for the worse.

You can see from people seeing starving in Africa what a response can bring from people and that never took words. You can see the reaction of people when they see the horrors of war, where you want to help those injured. That does not take words. You can see the love two people share with each other when they share something as simple as a kiss. Words are just an extension of how we communicate and we communicate far better and stronger through our body language and our actions.

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:42 pm

eddie wrote:I think I'd stand by everything I've said - because I never say what I don't mean at the time, angry or not.
My dad told me long ago: Never write anything down that you don't mean because you can't take it back.
That's become more apparent in the internet age.

Your dad was right, but probably in his day (which is prob my day) we could consider much more carefully what we wrote, in those days it put was on paper, which we then had to fold up, put in an envelope, buy a stamp, then actually post it. Laughing

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:44 pm

eddie wrote:I think I'd stand by everything I've said - because I never say what I don't mean at the time, angry or not.
My dad told me long ago: Never write anything down that you don't mean because you can't take it back.
That's become more apparent in the internet age.

I think that is a falsehood, because people do say things they do not mean, as why do they apologise?

You have apologised yourself to things you have said.

So if you did mean what you said, then the apology would be very empty and hollow.

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:44 pm

Sometimes words are all you have to communicate with someone else....like pen pals in the war?

We don't use words wisely enough or even properly. Communication is so vitally important and words equally so.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:45 pm

eddie wrote:Sometimes words are all you have to communicate with someone else....like pen pals in the war?

We don't use words wisely enough or even properly. Communication is so vitally important and words equally so.

That is why people need to watch more how people interact more so, than what they actually say

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:49 pm

Social media, facebook, forums and the like have cheapened the written word in a way.
We just write what we are thinking...a bit like a hurriedly written conversation, often not that much thought goes into the words, because we are all trying to keep up with what's happening on several different subjects at once.
It keeps the mind sharp, but it probably waters down the written words a bit.

by JulesV Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:56 pm

eddie wrote:

I'd be extremely proud and stand one billion % by everything I've ever said online (I'm not on social media).
The only people I have ever shouted at are the ones who have come after me relentlessly.
And that's only after ignoring them for ages, .... till I cannot ignore the provocation any further.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:00 pm

Jules wrote:
eddie wrote:

I'd be extremely proud and stand one billion % by everything I've ever said.
The only people I have ever shouted at are the ones who have come after me relentlessly.
And that's only after ignoring them for ages, .... till I cannot ignore the provocation any further.

Sorry but anyone who claims they back everything they say, are being false to themselves.

What they are essentially saying, is that they are never wrong.

As how many people growing up and through life have said things to parents, family and friends they simple did not mean and said in anger?

Everyone falls foul of this and why nobody is perfect and I would be far more concerned if people do say bad things and stand by those things bad said. That would be far more disconcerting and that those people are driven far more by negativity and cannot move on.

by JulesV Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:01 pm

I'd never DREAM of insulting anyone who hasn't deliberately provoked me.

Some people deliberately harass others, and yanking their chain ...... for recreational reasons
- they actually enjoy bullying others online, it gives vile bastards a hard on.

"Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone" has always been my mantra from day one.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:01 pm

And I will repeat again

Sorry but anyone who claims they back everything they say, are being false to themselves.

What they are essentially saying, is that they are never wrong.

As how many people growing up and through life have said things to parents, family and friends they simple did not mean and said in anger?

Everyone falls foul of this and why nobody is perfect and I would be far more concerned if people do say bad things and stand by those things bad said. That would be far more disconcerting and that those people are driven far more by negativity and cannot move on.

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:06 pm

Thorin wrote:
Syl wrote:

Words are about the most powerful weapon a person has...they can create wars or peace, so I don't think they should be minimalized.

That vid you posted last week, we never know what someone else is going through in life (remember the one Thor?) that emphasised to me why we should always be as kind as we can to people....and I really believe that.
A harsh word or criticism when its not called for could do more damage than any compliment ever can.

They are the least powerful as again they only have meaning when that person takes meaning from them.

Its actions that speak far louder than words. So being kind is what is important by doing kind things.

So a visual story does not even need words to see and have people act for the better or sadly for the worse.

You can see from people seeing starving in Africa what a response can bring from people and that never took words. You can see the reaction of people when they see the horrors of war, where you want to help those injured. That does not take words. You can see the love two people share with each other when they share something as simple as a kiss. Words are just an extension of how we communicate and we communicate far better and stronger through our body language and our actions.

Actions speak louder than words in many situations, like the ones you mention.
The internet, though it can bring out the bad in people, is also a brilliant media when used for the good....as we see when some disaster happens in the world.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:09 pm

Syl wrote:
Thorin wrote:

They are the least powerful as again they only have meaning when that person takes meaning from them.

Its actions that speak far louder than words. So being kind is what is important by doing kind things.

So a visual story does not even need words to see and have people act for the better or sadly for the worse.

You can see from people seeing starving in Africa what a response can bring from people and that never took words. You can see the reaction of people when they see the horrors of war, where you want to help those injured. That does not take words. You can see the love two people share with each other when they share something as simple as a kiss. Words are just an extension of how we communicate and we communicate far better and stronger through our body language and our actions.

Actions speak louder than words in many situations, like the ones you mention.
The internet, though it can bring out the bad in people, is also a brilliant media when used for the good....as we see when some disaster happens in the world.

Dont get me wrong Syl, the internet has provided a safe haven for people to be cruel and horrible. Its problematic and more so because people go there themselves and place themselves into this zone. People can easily be brainwashed with a combination of words and visuals. People need to spend more time seeing the good within the world and why I try to post as much good as possible. It brings the best out in people.

x

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:13 pm

Perhaps people will stand by the angry things they say, even if said in temper, because at the time you say it, you mean it.

by JulesV Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:19 pm

Thorin wrote:And I will repeat again

Sorry but anyone who claims they back everything they say, are being false to themselves.

What they are essentially saying, is that they are never wrong.

As how many people growing up and through life have said things to parents, family and friends they simple did not mean and said in anger?

Everyone falls foul of this and why nobody is perfect and I would be far more concerned if people do say bad things and stand by those things bad said. That would be far more disconcerting and that those people are driven far more by negativity and cannot move on.

Opinions can change over time. After all they are based on life experiences, and life experiences can change. I do not stand by some previous opinions I once had.

But the way I personally handled being harassed online I would not change a thing, I'd stand by everything I've ever said to the vile perpetrators, they are beneath my contempt.

by JulesV Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:21 pm

Yes being driven by negativity is sad ... and very wrong, this is why extremely negative people don't survive on forums - at least not on decent forums.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:21 pm

eddie wrote:Perhaps people will stand by the angry things they say, even if said in temper, because at the time you say it, you mean it.

At the time I have no doubt people do mean it and then when calm, when their emotions have abated they come to see how silly they have been. What is important is for when people can admit they are wrong. The problem is many people fear to do so, as they wrongly perceive it makes them look weak. What people fail to understand is we are at our best when we are showing ourselves at our most vulnerable. That we can admit if we have been wrong. Its the hardest thing for people to do, as they fear coming across weak. When all they do is show that they are in fact weak, because they have built up an imaginary wall around themselves. As if this somehow protects them. People are going to be far more warming to people who can admit their faults, because it shows far more honesty within people. Those who create barriers just end up pushing people away.

So when people say they stand by everything they say, well, then I question if they truly do. As it more the impression to look string they are trying to make people perceive this to be. Rather than admitting we are after all human and do make mistakes. None of us our perfect. So not having a dig at any here, but I think it speaks more about a person when they can admit and learn by their mistakes. To start that we have to understand and realise when sometimes we our ourselves wrong.

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:24 pm

I'll always say sorry if I'm sorry and I have a weird and really annoying tendency to forgive easily.
It's my weakest trait.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:27 pm

eddie wrote:I'll always say sorry if I'm sorry and I have a weird and really annoying tendency to forgive easily.
It's my weakest trait.

I would say its your best trait.

As you are not then willing to allow any negativity to cloud your reasoning. As what good is it really for when people perpetually stay angry at each other?

The thing is, its the things people have not done in life they most regret, more than things they have done.

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:37 pm

Thorin wrote:
eddie wrote:I'll always say sorry if I'm sorry and I have a weird and really annoying tendency to forgive easily.
It's my weakest trait.

I would say its your best trait.

As you are not then willing to allow any negativity to cloud your reasoning. As what good is it really for when people perpetually stay angry at each other?

The thing is, its the things people have not done in life they most regret, more than things they have done.

I also think being able to forgive easily is a good trait to have.....it doesn't just help the person who has wronged you, it helps you more because you are not clinging on to feelings of revenge or hurt, which makes you a nicer person in the long run.
You cant move on yourself till you forgive, doesn't mean you have to stay best mates or good friends or whatever....you can just forgive and move up and away.

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:38 pm

Syl wrote:
Thorin wrote:

I would say its your best trait.

As you are not then willing to allow any negativity to cloud your reasoning. As what good is it really for when people perpetually stay angry at each other?

The thing is, its the things people have not done in life they most regret, more than things they have done.

I also think being able to forgive easily is a good trait to have.....it doesn't just help the person who has wronged you, it helps you more because you are not clinging on to feelings of revenge or hurt, which makes you a nicer person in the long run.
You cant move on yourself till you forgive, doesn't mean you have to stay best mates or good friends or whatever....you can just forgive and move up and away.

Well said

x

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:43 pm

I get what you're both saying and yes is nice to forgive but at times, I simply feel like that child who keeps putting her hand in the fire.

by Fred Moletrousers Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:44 pm

Never explain and never complain, as Benjamin Disraeli so famously said.

by Syl Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:49 pm

Thorin wrote:
Syl wrote:

I also think being able to forgive easily is a good trait to have.....it doesn't just help the person who has wronged you, it helps you more because you are not clinging on to feelings of revenge or hurt, which makes you a nicer person in the long run.
You cant move on yourself till you forgive, doesn't mean you have to stay best mates or good friends or whatever....you can just forgive and move up and away.

Well said

x

Thank you Thor, on such a nice positive note I am logging off for the night.
Take care all. x

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:53 pm

eddie wrote:I get what you're both saying and yes is nice to forgive but at times, I simply feel like that child who keeps putting her hand in the fire.

You see the good in everyone and want to do anything you can for people.
I know what that is like, but it can have consequences, as we then get drawn into their problems and dramas. It can be emotionally draining. Sometimes people are users and are drawn to people like yourself because you do help. That is not your fault Eddie, they are the ones trying to take advantage of your kindness. It does not mean everyone else is like them. What you need to do is close the chapter of that life book with them, and move onto the next chapter in your life. You just need to close that previous chapter and move onto a brighter one

by Guest Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:54 pm

Syl wrote:
Thorin wrote:

Well said

x

Thank you Thor, on such a nice positive note I am logging off for the night.
Take care all. x

All the best Syl

x

by SEXY MAMA Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:57 pm

Fred Moletrousers wrote:Never explain and never complain, as Benjamin Disraeli so famously said.

Lol my sentiments exactly!

No regrets just lessons learnt from mistakes I guess.

Hope you are well Moley Wink

by SEXY MAMA Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:57 pm

eddie wrote:

I'd be ok I think afro

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:05 pm

Thorin wrote:
eddie wrote:I get what you're both saying and yes is nice to forgive but at times, I simply feel like that child who keeps putting her hand in the fire.

You see the good in everyone and want to do anything you can for people.
I know what that is like, but it can have consequences, as we then get drawn into their problems and dramas. It can be emotionally draining. Sometimes people are users and are drawn to people like yourself because you do help. That is not your fault Eddie, they are the ones trying to take advantage of your kindness. It does not mean everyone else is like them. What you need to do is close the chapter of that life book with them, and move onto the next chapter in your life. You just need to close that previous chapter and move onto a brighter one

Totally agree. Forgive but move on.

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:07 pm

SEXY MAMA wrote:
eddie wrote:

I'd be ok I think

Hey trouble. You and I have had some right spats but we always seem able to reach an understanding somehow and forgive each other... and end on laughter.

I've always liked and respected that about you. Not kidding.

by SEXY MAMA Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:15 pm

eddie wrote:
SEXY MAMA wrote:

I'd be ok I think

Hey trouble. You and I have had some right spats but we always seem able to reach an understanding somehow and forgive each other... and end on laughter.

I've always liked and respected that about you. Not kidding.

And I feel the same about you.

Hey we only live once so what's the point x

by Victorismyhero Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:24 pm

I tend to forget most things said to me in the end

so to make sure I dont......I write em all down in my BOOK OF GRUDGES Twisted Evil

by Fred Moletrousers Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:33 pm

Lord Foul wrote:I tend to forget most things said to me in the end

I've even forgotten what you just said to me just now.....must be time for my medication.

so to make sure I dont......I write em all down in my BOOK OF GRUDGES

by Victorismyhero Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:38 pm

It comes to us all moley.........

by Fred Moletrousers Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:53 pm

Lord Foul wrote:It comes to us all moley.........

Sure does, er, er, ...who the hell am I talking to?

by Victorismyhero Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:56 pm

For you Moley

by eddie Tue Jun 06, 2017 11:28 pm

SEXY MAMA wrote:
eddie wrote:
SEXY MAMA wrote:

I'd be ok I think

Hey trouble. You and I have had some right spats but we always seem able to reach an understanding somehow and forgive each other... and end on laughter.

I've always liked and respected that about you. Not kidding.

And I feel the same about you.

Hey we only live once so what's the point x

Absolutely x

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