I Have A White Boyfriend. Does That Make Me Any Less Black?

My boyfriend is white. But he’s not just white ― he’s blond-haired, blue-eyed white. I’m talking alternative music-loving, Dave Matthews Band-singing, rock-climbing, surfer boy white. There is no ignoring his whiteness or mistaking him for anything other than white.  

I fell in love with Scott 12 years ago in an Arizona drug and alcohol treatment center. His whiteness seemed unimportant then, charming even. Behind closed doors, we let each other in on our own cultural secrets.

I taught him about how to handle the delicate curls at the nape of the necks of Black women. Explained what it meant to throw shade and made him watch Black movie classics like “Superfly” and “Boomerang.” He regaled me with tales of fly-fishing in Wyoming, made me watch the documentary “Free Solo,” and introduced me to the music of soul rocker Michael Franti.

The more I got to know him, the more I understood in my core that I needed to be with him. He was good for me. He was kind to me, and most importantly, I liked who I was when I was with him.

But there was a caveat to our happily ever after. Being with him meant letting go of the Black relationship ideal I’d been harboring since I asked my father to marry me at age 4. The idea that while Scott and I would share a life but would never share Blackness made me wistful, like I was giving up something that I might one day miss.

And now Black people are having a moment. In sports, we are kneeling and linking arms in Black Lives Matter T-shirts. Postmates, Netflix and Hulu are amplifying Black films and TV shows 24/7, and it’s not even February. Everywhere you look, Black folks are gathering to support one another, to protest together, to mourn together. And while people of all races participate in these rallies and vigils, it is an especially remarkable time to be Black. For never in American history have we collectively been more empowered or valued.

But lately, I’ve had fits of self-doubt whenever I sit down at my computer. Can I continue to write impactfully about the Black experience when my boyfriend is white? Can I properly protest the treatment of Black Americans with him at my side? Does my white boyfriend diminish my Blackness?


https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-woman-white-man-relationship_n_5f36f082c5b69fa9e2fb733d?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly90LmNvL2w5M2FNWGs0NFg_YW1wPTE&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAMSAobputMDgaaH_vWk2il5AJ0AaQQGb_juQ7QKb23b-5-VJHxEMX-pyC3MLCdp5zY9-mTPP86SiOXnaz8W5LtF4qvxX8BqXtE0ML8eU7PrIihpYVvtvTKDoeYQkiVm1y96Vr02z8wxVnB6GTd86VUpSg0W1MPUgTeSSPR7LAdQM


For fuck sake, what is wrong with people?  
Everything now is based on identity politics. For years we have fought to have mixed couples accepted in society and now this seems to be going in full reverse with identity politics. As if its some how wrong for black and white people to be together. That now she questions if she can write about what happens in a community anymore. Let alone dating someone of a different ethnicity, does not magically make you one yourself. For goodness sake. What has happened to our education system?

Only one thing to say here

Disregarding references to Netflix and BLM, it sounds like something someone would have written back in the 1960's to me.

Syl wrote:Disregarding references to Netflix and BLM, it sounds like something someone would have written back in the 1960's to me.

Its all down to a belief system called critical race theory and identity politics Syl and its completely bonkers..

That is where this woman gets her ideas and beliefs from

You can really tell how powerful and influential social media giants are now

Jack Dorsey the owner of twitter donated 10 million to Dr. Ibram Kendi for Anti-racist research

https://twitter.com/jack/status/1296486118863654917

This is how Dr. Ibram Kendi believes we should tackle racism
Video below and its scary that people think we need to have discrimination to tackle racism

Yep its bonkers and this individual is backed by the Democrats

Scary indeed

It's a form of brainwashing imo.
Encouraging racism of any kind, like only shopping in black owned shops only buying from black owned companies etc, is furthering the divide, and I agree, social media, when it's used like this is dangerous.

I wonder if Quill has met any Asians, besides his cleaning lady?

Maddog wrote:I wonder if Quill has met any Asians, besides his cleaning lady?

Didn't I see where you have an Asian back-scratcher?

Original Quill wrote:

Maddog wrote:I wonder if Quill has met any Asians, besides his cleaning lady?

Didn't I see where you have an Asian back-scratcher?

I have an Asian secretary at my office. She's quite a capable young lady.

Maddog wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

Didn't I see where you have an Asian back-scratcher?

I have an Asian secretary at my office.  She's quite a capable young lady.  

Oh, Asian secretary! I thought you said Asian back-scratcher.

The woman who wrote this is being idiotic. Why does she have to do or be anything at all? Is she incapable of just being herself?
Sounds to me like she’s looking for trouble where none exists. I doubt this relationship will last to be honest.

Plenty of white and other non-black people share in the black experience when they date a black person. What the author is going through is more or less the same thing as any other person who has coupled with someone of a different culture.

Ben Reilly wrote:Plenty of white and other non-black people share in the black experience when they date a black person. What the author is going through is more or less the same thing as any other person who has coupled with someone of a different culture.

So if I date someone Chinese, does that make me Chinese then Ben?

What the author is doing is going off something called critical race theory

Something which is inherently racist itself. Which seeks to divide humans racially by identity politics

All people can do and understand is simple experience what their partners live and go through

Which will be uniquely different for every single person

eddie wrote:The woman who wrote this is being idiotic. Why does she have to do or be anything at all? Is she incapable of just being herself?
Sounds to me like she’s looking for trouble where none exists. I doubt this relationship will last to be honest.

Bang on the money

+1

Didgee wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:Plenty of white and other non-black people share in the black experience when they date a black person. What the author is going through is more or less the same thing as any other person who has coupled with someone of a different culture.

So if I date someone Chinese, does that make me Chinese then Ben?

What the author is doing is going off something called critical race theory

Something which is inherently racist itself. Which seeks to divide humans racially by identity politics

All people can do and understand is simple experience what their partners live and go through

Which will be uniquely different for every single person

I didn't say that it makes the partner black or whatever, I said it makes them share in the black experience.

Much as being married to an English woman makes me share in the English experience.