The Brexit "bill"

Mr. Davis is at the golf club returning his locker key when Mr Barnier the membership secretary sees him.

"Hello Mr Davis", says Mr Barnier. "I'm sorry to hear you are no longer renewing your club membership, if you would like to come to my office we can settle your account".

"I have settled my bar bill" says Mr Davis.

"Ah yes Mr Davis", says Mr Barnier, "but there are other matters that need settlement".

In Mr Barnier’s office Mr Davis explains that he has settled his bar bill so wonders what else he can possibly owe the Golf Club.
"Well Mr Davis" begins Mr Barnier, "Did you agree to buy one of our Club Jackets?"

"Yes" agrees Mr Davis "I did agree to buy a jacket but I haven't received it yet. As soon as you supply the jacket I will send you a cheque for the full amount".

"That will not be possible" explains Mr Barnier. "As you are no longer a club member you will not be entitled to buy one of our jackets".

"But you still want me to pay for it!" exclaims Mr Davis.

"Yes" says Mr Barnier, "That will be £500 for the jacket, and there is also your bar bill".

"But I've already settled my bar bill" says Mr Davis.

"Yes" says Mr Barnier, "but as you can appreciate, we need to place our orders from the Brewery in advance to ensure our bar is properly stocked. You regularly used to spend at least £50 a week in the bar so we have placed orders with the brewery accordingly for the coming year. You therefore owe us £2600 for the year. The average restaurant bill was in the order of £300 a month, so we'll require payment of £3600 for the next year.”

"I don't suppose you'll be letting me have these meals either?" asks Mr Davis.

"No, of course not" says an irritated Mr Barnier, "you are no longer a club member!"
"Then of course," Mr Barnier continues, "there are repairs to the clubhouse roof".

"Clubhouse roof!" exclaims Mr Davis, "What's that got to do with me?"

"Well it still needs to be repaired and the builders are coming in next week; your share of the bill is £2000".

"I see" says Mr Davis, "anything else?”

"Now that you mention it" says Mr Barnier, "there is Fred the Barman's pension. We would like you to pay £5 a week towards Fred's pension when he retires next month. He's not well you know, so I doubt we'll need to ask you for payment for longer than about five years, so £1300 should do it. This brings your total bill to £10,000" says Mr Barnier.

"Let me get this straight;" says Mr Davis, "you want me to pay £500 for a jacket you won't let me have, £2600 for beverages you won't let me drink, and £3600 for food you won't let me eat, all under a roof I won't be allowed under, and not served by a bloke who's going to retire next month?"

"Yes, it's all perfectly clear and quite reasonable" says Mr Barnier.

“Get lost!" says Mr Davis.

Now we understand what the Brexit ‘settlement’ is all about

+1

If you think that has any relevance to how the bill for leaving the EU is worked out and the reasons for it, you're dafter than I thought. Of course Nicko gave you a plus 1, I wouldn't expect him to understand the financial implications of things we had already agreed.

nicko wrote:+1

agree

Doesn't surprise me in the least. Another one of the unbright bulbs.

funny how you believe you're the only one here with a valid opinion .

Funny how you think you have a brain when all evidence points to your complete lack of grey matter.

sassy wrote:Funny how you think you have a brain when all evidence points to your complete lack of grey matter.

Are you in a bad mood today sassy ?

I'm not going to tit for tat with you - it's childish behaviour .

God bless you take care hope the rest of your day is fantastic .

Passive aggressive misuse of religion. Don't keep wrong footing yourself. Jesus is crying now at the way you are misusing him

I know you are trying to cause an argument with me sassy - but it won't work I've heard it all before it goes over my head - I read your comments and just think to myself . ' Poor woman '

Vicar of Dibley (vod) wrote:I know you are trying to cause an argument with me sassy - but it won't work I've heard it all before it goes over my head - I read your comments and just think to myself . ' Poor woman '

Pleased about that, because you make me giggle. Who thought that someone on the net would take the pleasure in showing themselves a fake as you do. It's bloody hilarious.

sassy wrote:

Vicar of Dibley (vod) wrote:I know you are trying to cause an argument with me sassy - but it won't work I've heard it all before it goes over my head - I read your comments and just think to myself . ' Poor woman '

Pleased about that, because you make me giggle.  Who thought that someone on the net would take the pleasure in showing themselves a fake as you do.  It's bloody hilarious.

There you go today turned out good for you - laughter is good medicine Proverbs 17-22