Couple branded disgusting because of huge age gap.

I'm not sure why....if it was the other way round abuse would be normal because that's the skewed way society is, but older men have always found younger women attractive, and young women often prefer the mature father figure.


"A couple with a 33-year age gap are standing up to critics after being branded “disgusting.”

Amanda Harper, 25, and Jay Horsky, 58, say that despite confronting evil stares, nasty comments and regularly being mistaken for father and daughter, they are not ashamed of their relationship.
The couple, from Huntington Beach, California, first met on dating app Plenty of Fish, after Harper said she was immediately drawn to Horksy’s grey hair and intense eyes.

After meeting up, the pair became inseparable, bonding over Horsky’s passion for building Halloween props and even going on to open a haunted house business of their own.

But, despite having been together for three years, Harper says she still receives online abuse and has even lost a friend after he branded her “a horrible person,” and a “gold digger.”





https://www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/family-relationships/couple-defend-33-year-age-gap-after-being-called-disgusting/ar-AAtKRsg?li=AA9SkIr&ocid=spartandhp

People really get exorcised about it. I dated a 23-year old when I was 43, and friends were all over the place about it.

Original Quill wrote:People really get exorcised about it.  I dated a 23-year old when I was 43, and friends were all over the place about it.

How did you handle it Quill...did it interfere with the relationship?

What does it matter, they're happy. Age shouldn't be a problem if you fall in love.

magica wrote:What does it matter, they're happy. Age shouldn't be a problem if you fall in love.

I agree, this couple have been together 3 years so obviously its working.

I can only think of one couple I knew that had a huge age gap, people didn't like it, and tbh it was a mismatch, she was after his money and he was on the rebound from a failed marriage.
Obviously love wasn't involved, but even for them, both got something out of the relationship...she got to spend a lot of money and he got sex and some young girl on his arm for a while.

No one got hurt.....and as long as they are adults, whos business is it anyway?

Age is nothing but a number and as long as both are consensual then everyone should just butt out.

They're running a business together and that always makes for a pretty successful relationship.

I hope Quill comes back and shares a bit of what happened to him.
There is nothing like the personal touch.

My very first serious boyfriend was 29 when I was 17....I suppose that's a bit of a gap when one is very young.
It never felt like it though to us.

Yes I'd like to hear more about Quill's story.

Syl wrote:

Original Quill wrote:People really get exorcised about it.  I dated a 23-year old when I was 43, and friends were all over the place about it.

How did you handle it Quill...did it interfere with the relationship?

I imagine it's much like the way blacks have to handle prejudice.  You look the other way and try not to notice.  

It's almost never confrontational--it's always socially acceptable, 3rd and 4th degree burns--but it's detectable.  Usually you hear a week later that so-and-so commented at the party, or at the restaurant, when they met you.  So it happens at a distance.

However, there are looks at the Safeway (Tesco), or comments: "Does your daughter like outdoor sports"...or, "does she plan on becoming a lawyer, too?" (She did.)

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:

How did you handle it Quill...did it interfere with the relationship?

I imagine it's much like the way blacks have to handle prejudice.  You look the other way and try not to notice.  

It's almost never confrontational--it's always socially acceptable, 3rd and 4th degree burns--but it's detectable.  Usually you hear a week later that so-and-so commented at the party, or at the restaurant, when they met you.  So it happens at a distance.

However, there are looks at the Safeway (Tesco), or comments: "Does your daughter like outdoor sports...or, plan on becoming a lawyer, too?" (She did.)

You imagine ageism is the same racism?

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

I imagine it's much like the way blacks have to handle prejudice.  You look the other way and try not to notice.  

It's almost never confrontational--it's always socially acceptable, 3rd and 4th degree burns--but it's detectable.  Usually you hear a week later that so-and-so commented at the party, or at the restaurant, when they met you.  So it happens at a distance.

However, there are looks at the Safeway (Tesco), or comments: "Does your daughter like outdoor sports...or, plan on becoming a lawyer, too?" (She did.)

You imagine agism is the same racism?

Having started out as a Constitutional lawyer, I've confronted both...tried both kinds of cases, too.  With discrimination law there is a lot of overlap in the way the rules test the questions: disparate treatment, standards of comparison, tests of pretextuality.  The remedies differ, because you have to ask where, or how do you make the person whole?

As the actual victim of the discriminatory, the experience is different.  With dating, it's usually a fun time, and that cannot really compare to the denigration of racism.  I mean, no cop ever stopped me for a taillight violation, and ended up shooting me.

Skin color, and where one is on the age scale, are different situations.  But the feeling that others have no idea, or don't understand--that 'we/they' feeling--that's the same.  But May/December dating is only a tiny portion of agism; when you get older, the problems grow bigger.

I know someone who was 17 and married a man who was 55 had two children - sadly he died a few years back . She has settled with someone else now .

Vicar of Dibley (vod) wrote:I know someone who was 17 and married a man who was 55 had two children - sadly he died a few years back . She has settled with someone else now .

Thats a huge age difference when someone is only 17.
It just shows though that age differences can be overcomen when people really love one another.

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

I imagine it's much like the way blacks have to handle prejudice.  You look the other way and try not to notice.  

It's almost never confrontational--it's always socially acceptable, 3rd and 4th degree burns--but it's detectable.  Usually you hear a week later that so-and-so commented at the party, or at the restaurant, when they met you.  So it happens at a distance.

However, there are looks at the Safeway (Tesco), or comments: "Does your daughter like outdoor sports...or, plan on becoming a lawyer, too?" (She did.)

You imagine ageism is the same racism?

I would think being taken for her dad by a stranger would be more acceptable than being talked about behind your back by a friend.
Maybe some of the subtle remarks you heard about could have been a touch of envy.

Re:  the O/P...

People don't lose genuine "friends" over petty issues like this  --  if a supposed friend "drops" one over something like this, they were never your friend to start with..

If someone finds they are receiving online abuse over the issue --  then WTF! is she doing returning to that website/FB page/whatever..

If she finds people looking at her, abusing her, then she's always free to avoid those people --  why does she think they should know, should care, or matter --  why does she feel she has to confront everybody who even looks sideways at them ?

It shouldn't matter to her, or anyone else if they are happy.
Sadly many people go through life wanting to please others, family, friends, workmates etc, they want to fit in and they try too hard.

Good advice to anyone, in any area of life is 'you cant please all of the people all of the time', be yourself, if people don't like it...tough.

I dunno, I always think the age gap is reduced by bank balance

veya_victaous wrote:I dunno, I always think the age gap is reduced by bank balance

Lol...you old cynic you.

Sugar daddies with a young girl on their arm....comfortably off middle aged widows abroad on holiday being wooed by young waiters who desperately want a visa for the UK are one thing.

People who genuinely fall in love and don't see the age gap as a problem do exist though.

I agree with the 'French rule' on age gap in relationships as being quite a good guide...


Half your age, plus seven... as the youngest age of partner...


Eg... I am 46, so for me to be dating a woman, half of 46 + 7 = 30 years old or over... would be quite ok...

I'm 76, half of 76 -38+7=45------------I wouldn't last 5 minutes !

nicko wrote:I'm 76,   half of 76 -38+7=45------------I wouldn't last 5 minutes !

But what a great 4 & 1/2 minutes that would be!!!

Tommy Monk wrote:I agree with the 'French rule' on age gap in relationships as being quite a good guide...


Half your age, plus seven... as the youngest age of partner...


Eg... I am 46, so for me to be dating a woman, half of 46 + 7 = 30 years old or over... would be quite ok...

I doubt anyone would bat an eye at that age gap, unless it was the man who was younger, oddly an older woman going out or marrying a much younger man is not accepted in quite the same light yet.

Tommy Monk wrote:

nicko wrote:I'm 76,   half of 76 -38+7=45------------I wouldn't last 5 minutes !

But what a great 4 & 1/2 minutes that would be!!!

Very funny Tommy.

Tommy Monk wrote:

nicko wrote:I'm 76,   half of 76 -38+7=45------------I wouldn't last 5 minutes !

But what a great 4 & 1/2 minutes that would be!!!

I consulted with my dick. We both agreed that 45-seconds would be sufficient.

45 seconds Quill?

THIS is the stuff you need then

When I young and in my prime,
I used to do it all the time.
Now I'm getting old and grey,
I only do it once a day!!

Lord Foul wrote:45 seconds Quill?

THIS is the stuff you need then

Used it.  The chainsaw reference on the label scared the women away.

I believe it's how I got the name, Lumber-Jack!  

Brill!!!!

Wrinkled old 72yo Mick jagger is with a 22 yo, they've just had a baby together.


His equally wrinkled mate Ronnie wood was romancing a teenager you Russian when he was 62. 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1034293/Rolling-Stone-Ronnie-Wood-61-runs-away-18-year-old-Russian-cocktail-waitress.html



Don't even get me started on the likes of Anna Nicole Smith.



A gold digger's ideal marriage partner is  "an elderly billionaire with a bad cough".