Grandparents must never be told their daughter had twins: Judges ruling as mother plans to give babies away

magica wrote:Personally I think the grandparents should be told, they're  their grandchildren.

The mother is waste of space, and I too hope they get the love from their adoptive parents which was so lacking from their so called mum.

Thorin wrote:If someone forfeits being a child's parents, what right have they to decide who shall raise that child? They are abandoning that child and thus really cannot say what is in the best interest for the child. Many people fall out with their family and may despise them whilst. That does not mean they are not good parents, but with her then abandoning this child, is to me the worst form of selfishness.

If the rest of her family have raised children well, then they should be given a choice to decide. The judge is not thinking of the child her but the wishes of someone who is abandoning that child. That makes no sense at all.

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:If someone forfeits being a child's parents, what right have they to decide who shall raise that child? They are abandoning that child and thus really cannot say what is in the best interest for the child. Many people fall out with their family and may despise them whilst. That does not mean they are not good parents, but with her then abandoning this child, is to me the worst form of selfishness.

If the rest of her family have raised children well, then they should be given a choice to decide. The judge is not thinking of the child her but the wishes of someone who is abandoning that child. That makes no sense at all.

Well they haven't raised her very well have they Thor?
Apart from the twins she has abandoned the one she kept has had to have social workers involved with his upbringing.
She actually sounds like a good case for forcible sterilisation.....sadly that's not in keeping with her human rights though....she is now free to breed randomly again if she chooses.

HoratioTarr wrote:Could be the girl had a shit upbringing by her parents and wouldn't wish it on those kids.   I don't agree with adoption, but who knows what the circumstances are.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

Well they haven't raised her very well have they Thor?
Apart from the twins she has abandoned the one she kept has had to have social workers involved with his upbringing.
She actually sounds like a good case for forcible sterilisation.....sadly that's not in keeping with her human rights though....she is now free to breed randomly again if she chooses.

Have they not raised her well?

All you are doing is taking her version of this, when are the other family members estranged from each other?
Or is it just this one person.
So again what right does she have to decide, when she is not going to raise this child?
She has forfeited that right, by abandoning that child.
The judge is not thinking of the child, but of the mother herself, who now wishes to abandon this child.
That makes next to no sense. As he is denying the right to this child's real family blood ties or for them to ever know the twins exist

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:If someone forfeits being a child's parents, what right have they to decide who shall raise that child? They are abandoning that child and thus really cannot say what is in the best interest for the child. Many people fall out with their family and may despise them whilst. That does not mean they are not good parents, but with her then abandoning this child, is to me the worst form of selfishness.

If the rest of her family have raised children well, then they should be given a choice to decide. The judge is not thinking of the child her but the wishes of someone who is abandoning that child. That makes no sense at all.

Well they haven't raised her very well have they Thor?
Apart from the twins she has abandoned the one she kept has had to have social workers involved with his upbringing.
She actually sounds like a good case for forcible sterilisation.....sadly that's not in keeping with her human rights though....she is now free to breed randomly again if she chooses.

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Have they not raised her well?

All you are doing is taking her version of this, when are the other family members estranged from each other?
Or is it just this one person.
So again what right does she have to decide, when she is not going to raise this child?
She has forfeited that right, by abandoning that child.
The judge is not thinking of the child, but of the mother herself, who now wishes to abandon this child.
That makes next to no sense. As he is denying the right to this child's real family blood ties or for them to ever know the twins exist

Well she is certainly not a responsible and loving mother, and kids learn from example.


Presumably the people in charge here have listened to the reasons she has given for not wanting her family involved.....we are just guessing.

Off out. bbl. x

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Have they not raised her well?

All you are doing is taking her version of this, when are the other family members estranged from each other?
Or is it just this one person.
So again what right does she have to decide, when she is not going to raise this child?
She has forfeited that right, by abandoning that child.
The judge is not thinking of the child, but of the mother herself, who now wishes to abandon this child.
That makes next to no sense. As he is denying the right to this child's real family blood ties or for them to ever know the twins exist

Well she is certainly not a responsible and loving mother, and kids learn from example.


Presumably the people in charge here have listened to the reasons she has given for not wanting her family involved.....we are just guessing.

Off out. bbl. x

Syl wrote:This woman is in her 40's...so obviously her parents will be getting on.
Bringing up a baby is  hard work, bringing up two is double the work, so I very much doubt her parents would be considered suitable for adopting them even if this woman was agreeable to them knowing they are now grandparents..

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:This woman is in her 40's...so obviously her parents will be getting on.
Bringing up a baby is  hard work, bringing up two is double the work, so I very much doubt her parents would be considered suitable for adopting them even if this woman was agreeable to them knowing they are now grandparents..

Why do people keep centring on her parents, as if they are the only family members who could adopt?

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Why do people keep centring on her parents, as if they are the only family members who could adopt?

We obviously don't know her family history, but if she has cut herself off from her family the chances of any of them even being considered suitable to adopt would be minute.

There is a reason adoptive parents are given privacy from the biological mother.
Choosing to place babies in a home where the biological mother knows the people who have been given parental rights would be asking for trouble.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

We obviously don't know her family history, but if she has cut herself off from her family the chances of any of them even being considered suitable to adopt would be minute.

There is a reason adoptive parents are given privacy from the biological mother.
Choosing to place babies in a home where the biological mother knows the people who have been given parental rights would be asking for trouble.

Why would they not be suitable?

Why would it be asking for trouble if she is already estranged from her family?

That makes very little sense syl

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:

Why would they not be suitable?

Why would it be asking for trouble if she is already estranged from her family?

That makes very little sense syl

It makes sense to not place children in a home where there is already personal strife between them and the biological mother.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

It makes sense to not place children in a home where there is already personal strife between them and the biological mother.

What personal strife?

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:

What personal strife?

Well one doesn't usually become estranged from the family for no reason.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

Well one doesn't usually become estranged from the family for no reason.

What effect would that have on raising these twins, when she is no longer part her families life?

It would have zero effect

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:

What effect would that have on raising these twins, when she is no longer part her families life?

It would have zero effect

The point is she would know where they were, she could re enter their lives in the future if she chose to, and  lets face it she hardly sounds like a reasonable responsible human being.

Parents who give up their kids for adoption don't have the right to know where they go.....she obviously would know wouldn't she.
It would be a disaster.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

The point is she would know where they were, she could re enter their lives in the future if she chose to, and  lets face it she hardly sounds like a reasonable responsible human being.

Parents who give up their kids for adoption don't have the right to know where they go.....she obviously would know wouldn't she.
It would be a disaster.

So?

If she has decided to leave these twins and has stayed estranged from her family, what difference is the future going to make?

None, it then allows for the possible chance that she wants them back and they are back with their biological mother

People do change their minds

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:

So?

If she has decided to leave these twins and has stayed estranged from her family, what difference is the future going to make?

None, it then allows for the possible chance that she wants them back and they are back with their biological mother

People do change their minds

Once children are adopted the mother is in no position to 'change her mind' and swan back into their lives Thor...you must know that.

I don't think you have thought this through.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

Once children are adopted the mother is in no position to 'change her mind' and swan back into their lives Thor...you must know that.

I don't think you have thought this through.

It does happen though Syl

Sorry but I do not buy the argument that they cannot go to family when many actually do get adopted through family members.; If she is already estranged, she its hardly going to effect the mother or the children

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:

It does happen though Syl

Sorry but I do not buy the argument that they cannot go to family when many actually do get adopted through family members.; If she is already estranged, she its hardly going to effect the mother or the children

Yes sometimes family members can adopt, though I doubt that would ever be allowed if there was friction like this in a family that could harm the welfare of the children.

Thorin wrote:

Syl wrote:

Yes sometimes family members can adopt, though I doubt that would ever be allowed if there was friction like this in a family that could harm the welfare of the children.

Its always difficult Syl and I guess its different every time based on the circumstances

Syl wrote:

Thorin wrote:

Its always difficult Syl and I guess its different every time based on the circumstances

Yes, its good that each case is considered on the factors involved.

I find it really touching when I see posters up of kids asking if anyone would be interested in fostering or adopting....its a bit like advertising the child to see if there are any takers.
Babies are easy to place, older kids with a history much harder...its sad.