Smart Arse Answers

SMART ARSE ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 5
A lady was picking through the frozen Chickens at a Woolworths store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these Chickens get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

SMART ARSE ANSWER 4
The policeman got out of his car and the Teenager he stopped for speeding rolled down his window "I've been waiting for you all day," the Cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 3
A truckie was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it ..
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of diesel!"

SMART ARSE ANSWER 2
A teacher at West Australian University reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
"Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR!
Telephone rings, woman answers.
Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"
Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby .... Who shall I say is calling?"

A shoplifter had a stolen leg of lamb inside his jacket when was stopped leaving a supermarket by the store detective...

Store detective : "What are you doing with that!?"

Shoplifter : "Roast potatos, peas and carrots...!"